Endless thoughts

so I guess I am just going to forget about evrything and just write what I am thinking. You know no matter how much I try to forget about it, it never leaves me alone. I can't even sleep without it haunting my dreams. I just want to go to sleep one night, wake up one morning and not have that be the first and last thing I think about. The smallest things are constant reminders of it. I can't seem to ever get away from it. I'm just so tired of it. Why can't I just be normal. The worst thing is, That I know he is not loosing a single second of sleep over what he did.