Something bothering me in school...

In school we are studying anglo-saxon poetry, and epics, and in anglo-saxon times, they wrote alot about rape, and doing things to women, because they thought of them only as sex toys I guess you could say. When Mr. N is talking about it....he will like make comments about how the women were raped and stuff, and it really makes me uncomfortable. I don't knwo it's jsut the way he says it, like not caring at all like it's not a big deal. I don't know. I already don't like him, and then him making comments liek he does just makes me notl ike him even more...I hate going to that class. I don't knwo why he always has to bring it up...he makes refrences to it all the time, and I wish he could just make his refrences to something else for once. He thinks it's funny or something...and honestly I don't find it funny at all. I know I can't be afraid of the word rape for the rest of my life, but....IDK.

ALso in teachers for tomorrow, we are making these things called barrier books, and they are books written to I guess you could say "appeal," to people with Barriers to learning. Barriers being, substance abuse, death in the family, eating disorders, sexual abuse, ect. and of course my partner has to decide she wants our topic to be sexual abuse. How can I write a book for soemone whos been sexually abused, tryign to help them feel better, and better understand that what their feeling is normal, when I can't even make myself feel better? I HATE it. we have to make up a story about a girl being sexually abused and in the story use the "steps to overcoming the abuse," as an example in her situation...if that makes any sense. It's kind of hard to explain. I can't do it, shes sitting there making up this whole story about how this girl is raped and she is like making it so perfect like it's so easy. well she was raped, and she was sad, and then she went to counceling, and then she was all better. SHE ACTS LIKE IT'S SO FREAKING EASY! I know it's not her fault but uhhhhhhhhhh. I don't know why she had to insist that we do that topic... out of all the other ones that one was just a GREAT freaking idea we had to do that one. I'm starting to hate school!!!! I can't get away from it ANYWHERE!!!!!!!!