Saturday, October 13, 2007

decisions

There have been so many things I have been thinking about. I am really worried about school. the guidance coun. came into our classes to talk to us about beginning to apply to colleges...I don't know what to do. There is only one school that I want to go to, yet I can't let myself apply to it. I am afraid to. I just dont know if I can do it. I couldnt even go there for the night. I don't want to allow him to take anythign else away from me. allowing what he did to me affect my decision towards my future is me giving in. I am allowing him to take the only thing I have left, the only thing I have to look foward to. I'm scared I'm going to make the wrong decision. If I decide to go there but can't handle it, then what will I do. What if I go there and I am absolutely miserable, but on the other hand if I don't go, HE WON, I would have to live with the fact that I LET HIM WIN! I know I am going to regret it if I don't go, I don't knwo what to do. I really don't.

1 comment:

Lila Elswick said...

Amber-
I am sorry that we did not get to meet today. You had every right to spend your money on a homecoming dress, your mom is probably just jealous as you have money to spend because you go out and earn it. Please take care of yourself. I will be checking in with you via blog if that is okay with you. It sounds like you have had a lot on your plate recently with your birthday coming up and making decisions on how to handle it. We will talk more about it next time you come in for sure. I am glad that you got some ideas from the website that I gave you and that you have reached out to the Pandy's website for support. Please remember that when it comes to colleges that you need to do what is best for you. I know that you dream of going to Longwood and that jerk has messed things up. You can still go there if you want, but if you need to go somewhere different that does not mean that he won, it means that you are making the best decision for you. Please take care and I hope you have a fun time at homecoming. See ya next week!
~Lila